Vital Information

In an attempt to live in an Inappropriate-Apostrophe-Free Zone, I have created this for those of you who may be confused.

I understand many of you simply don’t care. That’s great.

Moving on.

If you want to say ‘you’re funny’, or ‘you’re a dickhead’, or ‘you’re doing my head in’, then it’s YOU’RE you’re looking for. Which means YOU ARE, but abbreviated.

If you’re concentrating on other people’s possessions, its YOUR: as in ‘your rusted tin can’, or ‘your ninja sword’ or ‘your mullet’.

If someone owns something, they get an apostrophe: God’s, Mom’s, Ronald McDonald’s.

If there is two of something, they don’t. Gods, Moms, Ronald McDonalds. (Ronald McDonaldseses is also acceptable. For that matter, so is colour-inerer.)

So just because something has an ‘s’ on the end, it doesn’t automatically need an apostrophe. Since when do the CDs own anything? Or DVDs for that matter?

Don’t get me started on Washer’s and Fridge’s… Just writing that made me ill.

Very good. You all get a scratch ‘n sniff sticker x